Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Is it October yet?

This past Sunday marked the 2-month-calendar-countdown 'til the 'Hawks hit the ice, hosting the Panthers for their home opener. With all the drama surrounding this off-season, I, like many others, wish I could've crawled to the nearest cave to hibernate until October. Not to mention, having nothing on the tube to watch except for a mediocre Sox team has given me no choice but to further waste my time with things like.... laundry. And Twitter. I've been averaging about four tweets a day for the past week. FOUR. Do I feel pathetic? MAYBE.

But seriously, yeah. I do.

Getting to the point-- in attempt to feel as though I've accomplished something, I've put together a short list of the top five fights of the Blackhawks '08-'09 season. 'Cause let's face it, even if you don't like hockey(in which case, you are a tasteless waste of human life) you still love to see a good hockey fight.

So, here they are:

5) Ben Eager vs. David Hale (Phoenix)

Short? Yes. Sweet? Oh baby. I felt it earned a spot on the list for two reasons: 1) Eager lands two bombs to Hale's face, and 2) We get to see Gretzky whine like a little b*tch. Not to mention, Eager skates away like he just stole Hale's lunch money.

4) Brent Seabrook vs. Jeff Woywitka (St. Louis)

With Walker sprinting(completely under-clever and overused, I know) to his 1.8mil/year over in Tampa Bay, the 'Hawks are definitely gonna need someone to fill his shoes as tough guy, cause let's face it-- as much as Burish likes to scrap, his win percentage isn't all that promising. Seabs shows us here, he could be that guy. The man comes outta nowhere and not only sticks up for his teammates, Byfuglien and Bolland, but pummels Woywitka in the process. Hats off to you, Biscuit.

3) Ben Eager vs. Adam Pardy (Calgary)

Even if Eager doesn't land a single punch in his fights, they are still entertaining as all hell. And why? He's a wild man. This one is great not only 'cause it's a playoff game, not only 'cause he bloodied up Pardy's nose, but because he absolutely punished Cammalleri for having anything to do with the puck.

2) Craig Adams vs. Josh Gratton (Philadelphia)

Though we shipped him off to the Pens late in the season(No hard feelings, I'm sure, having gone on to win his second Stanley Cup) this fight made the top of the list because... well, I mean, come on. They were clearly trying to punch the back of each other's skulls.

1) Ben Eager vs. Kevin Bieksa, Duncan Keith vs. Alex Burrows, Brent Seabrook vs. Shane O'Brien

This should surprise no one. So many things make this brawl great.
1) Eager absolutely manhandles Bieksa. Twice. He then proceeds to give what I like to call his 'serial killer' face, as he laughs at Bieksa.
2) We discover just how much of a vag' we all suspected Burrows of being. Pulling hair? Does this look like Flavor of Love? Not to mention Keith doesn't do this often-- must have been real fired up.
3) The timing. It's the third period, we're getting pushed around, losing 3-0. Playoffs are just around the corner. Instead of putting our tail between our legs, we stick up for ourselves. Come playoff time, couldn't have been more excited to play these pricks again. Beating them? Even better. Putting 7 in on Luongo to win the series in a game that has been called the most epic 'Hawks game in years? Too much for words.

Well, that's that. Hope I burnt a good 15 minutes off your day.

Detroit sucks.